Sometimes I try to make my poker poems singable by using pre-existing songs. This one uses "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt.
My hand was iffy
Yours was much worse
Yet you outdrew me
This really hurts
You seemed like you called with nothing
I had sixes and was right
But since you are a river rat
I lost and that bites
You're Dracula
You're Dracula
You're Dracula, it's true
Your frame is slight, yet you ruled the night
When with bat-like speed chips flew
From my stack to that of you
Well you sucked me dry
With your seven high
Two runner inside straight which made me
Almost cry
My set of queens seemed so sweet on the flop
But I helped you buy a house on a hilltop
You're Dracula
You're Dracula
You're Dracula, I say
Couldn't stand my
Reflection if I
Shared your crazy style of play
But it's tough to have to pay
You're Dracula
You're Dracula
You're Dracula. it's true
I must leave the table since I'm broke and a disgrace
But next time I'll be imitating you
And I'll probably lose a shoe
Since I will suck just like you
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
False Outs
Why must you always destroy me, false outs?
Causing confidence when I should have doubts
Giving me hope when I should have none
I must learn to spot you so that I can run
Like a nine on the river for a ten high straight
But eight jack beats eight six and I bemoan my fate
Or a late ace for Broadway and I feel such a rush
But the ace was a spade which gave someone a flush
Why must you torment me, O draws of no use
You almost convince me to stop playing loose
You make me go broke and need to buy more chips
And feel like a sailboat racing against cruise ships
When the river brings a set of tens I'll be betting the max
Not knowing that my opponent already had a set of jacks
Or I draw the nut flush thanks to the board's second ace
Which gives my opponent a boat and tears flow down my face
So many times I've loved my odds and yet was drawing dead
I thought that I found a gold mine but it was a pyrite bed
Therefore I must to apply what I've been writing about
And bet using my mind without praying for false outs
Causing confidence when I should have doubts
Giving me hope when I should have none
I must learn to spot you so that I can run
Like a nine on the river for a ten high straight
But eight jack beats eight six and I bemoan my fate
Or a late ace for Broadway and I feel such a rush
But the ace was a spade which gave someone a flush
Why must you torment me, O draws of no use
You almost convince me to stop playing loose
You make me go broke and need to buy more chips
And feel like a sailboat racing against cruise ships
When the river brings a set of tens I'll be betting the max
Not knowing that my opponent already had a set of jacks
Or I draw the nut flush thanks to the board's second ace
Which gives my opponent a boat and tears flow down my face
So many times I've loved my odds and yet was drawing dead
I thought that I found a gold mine but it was a pyrite bed
Therefore I must to apply what I've been writing about
And bet using my mind without praying for false outs
Friday, March 7, 2008
Defending My Blinds
Like a brave soldier I'm defending my blinds
Opposing offensives with cards of all kinds
Underarmed and outnumbered is no reason to flee
Likewise I'll stay in with my queen and a three
A coward will wait for days for better supplies
Saying sometimes accepting small losses is wise
A hero will charge with one bullet left, unafraid
I'll risk it all with two twos if I've already paid
They're glad since they know that they won't have to limp
I'm glad since I know that I am not a wimp
I don't care that I won much less than I lost
I'm defending my blinds at whatever the cost
Opposing offensives with cards of all kinds
Underarmed and outnumbered is no reason to flee
Likewise I'll stay in with my queen and a three
A coward will wait for days for better supplies
Saying sometimes accepting small losses is wise
A hero will charge with one bullet left, unafraid
I'll risk it all with two twos if I've already paid
They're glad since they know that they won't have to limp
I'm glad since I know that I am not a wimp
I don't care that I won much less than I lost
I'm defending my blinds at whatever the cost
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Is Poker a Sport?
Like young lovers playing hard to get
We hide our emotions and hope not to sweat
Veins have ice water so shirts don't get wet
Heart needs beat at one speed to keep out of debt
And yet sportscenter coverage can be hard to find
Because the body takes a back seat to the mind
They will see a portly person parked on his behind
But not a brilliant double bluff to bankrupt the big blind
Home runs and slam dunks - yes, they impress
But is defeating three kings with a flush any less
Of a feat when he was all in with less than a pair
And had to stay sharp for all day to get there?
Athletes need a strong psyche and a steady hand
How those are used is much easier to understand
On a field or the links or a basketball court
But that doesn't mean that it isn't a sport
We hide our emotions and hope not to sweat
Veins have ice water so shirts don't get wet
Heart needs beat at one speed to keep out of debt
And yet sportscenter coverage can be hard to find
Because the body takes a back seat to the mind
They will see a portly person parked on his behind
But not a brilliant double bluff to bankrupt the big blind
Home runs and slam dunks - yes, they impress
But is defeating three kings with a flush any less
Of a feat when he was all in with less than a pair
And had to stay sharp for all day to get there?
Athletes need a strong psyche and a steady hand
How those are used is much easier to understand
On a field or the links or a basketball court
But that doesn't mean that it isn't a sport
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